Church :-)

We all went today, and we all had a great time - including JT (no joke!). Amazing!

My doctor appointment went okay... She said she believes my 'non-stop' headache is a tension headache... She felt my base of my head (apparently where your muscles come together? I have a horrible memory about some things...) and noted it's severely tight there... My stabby pains in my cheek/jaw/face are neuralgia - the trigeminal nerve. What I hadn't posted on here yet was that my left foot is going numb again like it did a few years back (when MS came up the first time).

From there, she did a few tests, and of course, did my reflex test. Of course, she noted that my reflexes are crazy... And the 'MS' discussion came up again (without me mentioning that it had ever been mentioned before)...

So, she's booking me with a neurologist at Vanderbilt as soon as possible in June (hopefully June 1st). She is recommending a MRI and lumbar puncture to test for MS.

We don't think this is remotely connected to Bob. She felt Bob, and didn't say anything... I told her I don't feel him or even look at him anymore - there's no point... Nothing I can do if he is changing anyway, right? ;-) I prefer to be modestly ignorant.

Anyway... JT was in bed last night, and I asked him for a hug. He then GAVE ME A HUG!!! Then The Hubs came in and handed him his juice, and clear as a bell, JT said 'Tha you'. Mass hysteria in the form of kissing, hugging and yelling 'yay JTmy' ensued (by The Hubs, me and Audrey). Funny the things you take for granted (at least we did with Audrey... We would have never partied like that for a little thank you from her, lol).

Audrey got to go to her friend Ainsley's birthday party at the bowling alley yesterday. I discovered a few things about Audrey... First, she is VERY competitive. Second, she is a pretty good bowler (surprisingly). Sounds like her daddy... She is JUST like The Hubs, actually. Social, funny and LOVES games.

Then there was a tornado in Leiper's Fork. We were driving home, and as we passed under the Natchez Trace, I noticed cars pulled under the overpass... I thought, weirdos... Then I looked up and noticed the beautiful, blue sky in contrast to the horrible, black clouds... That looked like the edge was cut by a razor it was such a perfect line... Yeah, wall cloud. We made it home, and it didn't do anything at our house... One of those crazy moments where you realize it could have gone either way, though.

I do have to share this funny story... We were at the Disney store Friday. This lady was in there with her son, and the Little Mermaid was on the big tv. Her son was fascinated. 'Under the Sea' was blaring, and her son started dancing. She laughs, and goes, 'great song, awful movie'. I looked at the cashier, and we both kind of exchanged this look like, wtf? The cashier (braver than I am) asked her, 'What's so bad about it?'... Get this... She replies, 'Well, it just promotes the woman just give up everything and change everything about herself for the man.' Lest you think it ends there... 'I mean, she had it all great in mermaid-world, and now she's picking up some guy's underwear on land.'

I almost fell over... What?!?!

Plus, anyone who's watched the movie knows Ariel wanted to have legs WAAAAY before Eric!

JT = AWESOME

Okay... So, this is totally a proud momma post.

JT walked up to The Hubs last night, and said 'Howee dada!' (his -ello words come out owee... Very cute). Anyway, so we were so excited... And he keeps coming up to us and waving saying 'Howee! Howee!'

Today, when we got to school, he didn't cry (!) - and as I was putting on his shoes, he was saying, "Soo, soo". SO great!

He got a little upset when I left, but didn't seem crazy sad... Yay for that, too (for both of us!).

I am going to upload a pic of JT at school yesterday... They had a hedgehog visit, and the teacher is holding it out for JT to touch, the aide is sitting behind him... And he's got this HUGE grin on his face... Kinda like 'you guys are nuts, I am not touching that thing... But it's hilarious that you will...'

Audrey has been such a MAJOR help in all of this... She is what calms me down when he cries as we're leaving... We wait for him together :-)

I'm going to the doctor today. I can't take the flippin headache much longer. I'll update ASAP when I know what she's going to do with this. Ugh...

That's all for the Duzan family update... Looking up!

Spring has Sprung!

Spring is here in Tennessee! The pear trees are blooming, the grass is suddenly green, and it's getting warmer... JT's two week anniversary for school is coming up... To read more about his progress, see his blog (to the left).

Audrey is adjusting to JT going to school (as am I)... It is hard for both of us to walk away when JT is crying and reaching for us. It breaks my heart every day it happens. His (awesome) teacher sent home pictures of him ten minutes after we left, and he was laughing and having a grand time... But it's still hard.

I applied for - and was accepted! - a job with Writers.ph. This company is a little different than Demand Studios and Writers Research Group (and Associated Content, lol... Man, I work with a lot of companies...). They focus on essay writing. It's actually pretty cool - and intriguing. The pay is still good (it is for pretty much all my jobs, or I wouldn't do it) and it's something new and promising as far as learning - I LOVE to learn constantly... Jack of all trades :-)

Check out my article links on the right hand side... I have some new stuff on Associated Content that's pretty neat (and very personal, surprisingly... I've shied away from terribly personal stuff in the past...).

The Hubs's store is doing great. I know it's because he's there, but his store is way above average... While I think they were down in sales last month, it wasn't by much (and Easter was in 'last month' in the previous year, so to even be close is fantastic - those numbers are way higher). Hopefully they'll kick some booty this month... He's really enjoying working with people again. I know he loves coming up with new events, and my crazy husband loves doing the PA announcements. One day I walked in to hear, "We're having a CRAZY sale up here... It won't last long - come buy a purse now! Guys, buy one for your mom, your wife, your baby momma..." Only The Hubs! Really, though, he is so good with people, and they appreciate him so much... It's nice.

Hope everyone is fabulous!

School Time!

JT has been in school for almost two whole weeks. It's very bittersweet... He is already doing great things - but he also does NOT like when Audrey and I leave.

He has been babbling more, singing (although I can't understand the words - it's SO precious!) and doing little hand motions with it (!), and just really interacting with us a lot more... He actually likes to play games *with* us the majority of the time - he was doing it before, but only a few minutes here and there. He let me read him a whole book yesterday (that has NEVER happened before) - of course it was Swiper, No Swiping - he LOVES Swiper the fox. Thinks he's hilarious!!!

JT, School and Lots of Driving

Yep, that's all that's really new around here.

JT started school last Monday. He seems to be okay with it... He goes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 8:25 - 11:30am. He cried Thursday and Friday, which not only crushed me, but upset his big sister a LOT. She was so upset we had to leave him there crying...

Which leads to the funny school story of the week... JT fell asleep on his desk Friday. 3 years old and already falling asleep at school, LOL! He had also just gotten a (black) stamp on his hand, and so he looked all polka-dotted when we picked him up. He was so exhausted Miss Maggie (his teacher) had to carry him out. See, JT has been sleeping in this baby crib in his room that we just had in there to put stuffed toys in... He stays up and 'makes his bed' by pulling all his blankets and pillows off his REAL bed - then sleeping there. He does NOT want us doing it - so this is the new routine, I suppose.

We drive SO much now... We leave our house at 7am, drive The Hubs to work (about a 35-40 min drive), turn around, drive JT to school (45 min drive to an hour). Then I pick JT up at 11:30, we go home (about 25 min drive), then we pick daddy up at 6:15pm. It pretty much sucks, but I don't want JT on the bus - he's only 3!!! - and I don't think he's secure enough with the transition to school to successfully deal with the bus. Plus - mommy isn't ready to give that up yet... Another hour or more my baby would be gone... Nosiree.

I'm still dealing with the dang headache from hell. Have no clue what is going on, but we're coming up on about 6 weeks straight of it... And I can't handle much more. I have 2 months and some change until my insurance will pay for anything... But I may end up at the doc's office before then. My head is not doing so hot! Bob, on the other hand, has pretty much settled himself down and stopped growing (praise God!), so I'm feeling pretty good about the surgery having to wait - it wasn't the best case scenario, but at least Bob is behaving!

Audrey has a birthday party today at Chuck E Cheese (Happy Birthday Emily!), so we're all heading that way in just a bit.

That's all for now... Hope everyone else is doing well!

Love to all!

Bye, Miss Great Big!

Great Big Nanny came on Wednesday, and left this morning. We were SO sad to see her go...

JT asked for 'cookie' a few times today... And he's referring to her. So, he calls her Cookie, and Audrey calls her Great Big Nanny - or 'Miss Great Big'. If you know my grandmother, you see the humor in this. She's roughly 5'2", and maybe 100 lbs. Seriously, there is nothing great big about her (except her personality)!

So, we're on our own... We will miss her a whole bunch... But I have a feeling she'll be back soon. She left a bag full of shoes and clothes at our house (lol, now I know exactly where I get it from).

As far as the Duzan fam... JT starts school tomorrow! I am going crazy... But I know he will like it. At least for the most part ;) And I need some time alone with my Audrey... She sometimes gets the rough end of the deal being the sister of a high energy autistic boy... But she is so sweet. I just want her to know how loved and important she is (JT, too, but he seems to know that very well lately, lol).

The Hubs's store has been doing some crazy awesome things, and he is loving his job. Dillard's is giving them a little more freedom to help clear old merchandise, and everyone knows that The Hubs loves coming up with 'fun' ideas - and he gets SO excited! It's great to see him so pumped up about work, and I know that helps his employees and the company in general to have someone who really is excited about what he does.

I met with my pastor (Pastor Carol) this week, and really had a great discussion with her. She is such a sweet person... It just solidified my decision that this is the church for us. I can't say enough about Emmanuel Presbyterian - the people are wonderful, the message is kind and helpful, and overall people just want to be better and do better in God's eyes. The best church I have ever attended by far.

I am dealing with Bob better every day... I have realized that in my life, I have faced plenty of challenges. Every time I fall, God catches me. Even when I may not realize it, God is always there. It is SO hard for me to realize I have no control... But truly, in life, we don't have control over - well, hardly anything. I saw a sign on a church on the way here that says 'Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.' This is SO true. I cannot control Bob, my insurance company, my doctors or anything else. I can control how I react to this situation and what I do with myself. I choose to believe that God is in the details... Somewhere. I have a hard time closing my eyes and waiting for God's safety net... 'Let go and let God' is not easy. But I know I will be okay - it is just going to have to play out the way it's meant to play out.

So, all in all, we are doing fantastic. We are happy, busy and exhausted... A wonderful combination :-)

I hope that everyone is doing well...

Time Change... Nooooo!

I love almost everything about spring... The flowers, the sun, the warmth...
I hate the time change. It is SO hard to get up an hour earlier! I didn't make it to church today, it seemed SO early to get up!

Audrey is now subtracting :-) SO smart!

JT starts school 3/16. I am getting nervous. I love my little man, and I really don't want to let him go yet :( He's my baby (yes, I realize he's not a baby, but he's MY baby). I will go through this again this fall with Audrey and Kindergarten. I like having my babies all to myself. Selfish? Yes. But I didn't get to be a stay at home mommy until they were a little bigger...

Anyway, still trucking along!

Oh man!

Surgery was rescheduled. My insurance company refused payment, so they can't do it.

It's now June 18th.

The neurosurgery scheduler told me "the doctor said you would *probably* be okay until June". Niiiiiice. Great. Very unconvincing.

JT's IEP went terrific. I was really impressed with the teacher (again) and all the therapists. With all the horror stories about IEP's, I feel like we are really lucky. They are trying everything to make sure JT has all the supports he could possibly qualify for.

So, please pray that Bob will behave, and that I will, in fact, be fine in waiting until June. Because I don't have another choice.

Audrey is ADDING! And JT is still just trucking along with his language and counting, the alphabet and colors.

Hope everyone else is doing well...

Love to all!

Yikes!

Time is going by too fast!

This week we have JT's IEP meeting, so he'll probably start school next Monday. I am SO nervous about that!

Then, my pre-op appointment is 3/9 at Vanderbilt, and surgery is on for Friday 3/13. I'm surgery #2, so I get there at 9am and surgery starts at 11am. It's a 5 hour surgery, so I'm a little nervous... Okay, a LOT nervous. But 'Bob' is making me feel SO sick, it is time for him to go!!!

I have been warned that I won't have much function post-op in my right arm. The incision may just be a 'Z' in my armpit - or it may go all the way up to my neck. It depends on if they can get it out using the smaller one. I also got the warning about the possibilities of negative outcomes... There is a vein and an artery on each side of the nerve, so if something happened (which it hasn't before, nor do we expect it to) I could lose my arm. Just about jumped out of my skin when he said that! They know about my morphine allergy, so hopefully no surprises for my nurses this time!!!

JT is counting to 13 (haha - just realized the relation to the paragraph above!), and Audrey has taught herself how to add... JT is still talking like crazy - my current favorite is (of course) Momma and 'Aw, man!' (just like Swiper!).

The Hubs's store did really well for the month of February - just hope that continues!

That's all for now, my hand REALLY hurts now when I type for too long.

Love to all -
Kate