Saturday, May 14, 2011

What sucks.

Today, we went to a birthday party. It was for one of Audrey's friends' little sister. Audrey adores her.

It was at an indoor playground - with real playground sets and a bouncy house and a giant inflatable slide.

JT held my hand, going from the pieces of equipment. He played with me.

There were a few times he saw his sister, happily playing with her friend, and he tried to grab her hand. She wriggled free and ran off.

I almost cried, and my heart broke so fast that it took my breath away.

But I couldn't intervene.

Audrey loves JT. She really does. She plays with him all the time when it's just them. But it's not fair to expect her to drop everything and play with him. Kids her age don't do that - her friend wasn't playing with his little sister.

Yet I knew, as I watched his little face show disappointment and sadness, that it hurt him that he wasn't the center of her universe then. He ran around alone the whole time.

And then came the ending, 1.5 hours in, when I could tell JT was done. So Audrey had to get up, during the pizza (and before the cake) and leave. She cried. She insisted 'It's not fair.'.

Somehow, I am more brokenhearted after a birthday party that went better than any party we'd been to than the disasters we've experienced before.

It's one of those "FA" days that has me drained and broken, for both my babies. I agree with Audrey. It's not fair.

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