Friday, February 17, 2012

Dear God, the Universe, and whoever else can help.

I'm not sure if you can see it from up there, but that white spot? That's me waving my white flag.

I give.


Whatever the frick it takes for you to back off just a little.

So I'm going through all this crap with my masses (there are actually 4, 2 in each armpit/boob) and my MRI phobia. I'm supposed to take my sedative and go back with a driver (a.k.a. The Hubs) Thursday morning. PRAY THIS WORKS. The ones on the right hurt pretty bad.

Then yesterday Audrey has a total freakout, ends up telling me that a little girl in her class has been pushing her (literally, physically pushing her) and saying awful things to her, and awful things about her to other kids when she's in earshot. Audrey had been doubled over in pain (her stomach) all week, but was afraid to tell us in fear the little girl 'would get meaner'. Of course I contacted her teacher, who assured me she would figure it out. The teacher handled it beautifully, the girl is being very kind to Audrey, sincerely apologized and told her it wasn't her fault. All day though, I spent stressed out hoping that it would turn out okay.

Then JT... Oh my JT. He is having issues with getting in trouble. As in, if he gets reprimanded (in our house, we use our 'scolding' tone, we don't yell, and we never spank) he completely loses control and has a meltdown. We're talking meltdowns that we haven't seen in 3 years. Out of control, lost in autism-space meltdowns. He doesn't see us, hear us or respond. He is screaming, angry, thrashing and gone.

Today the teacher had to raise her voice at JT. See, he's a good kid. It's the first time she's ever had to raise her voice at him. But it happened... and he was standing behind another kid. So he freaked out, upset the kid in front of him... that kid bit JT. Then JT went and started kicking a table, then TRIED TO FLIP THE TABLE OVER. Then he went and smacked (thankfully, not hard) another kid (not the one that bit him). DISASTER.

We are trying to come up with stuff to help him with this, because obviously he's going to get in trouble occasionally, even though he's a good kid. Social stories. Visual schedules and first/then cards (issues only happen after lunch). 'Practicing' when he gets in trouble at home with appropriate responses.

Ohmyfreakinggosh. Seriously, God. Universe. Cosmic Energy.



  1. Sending all the positive energy I can your way. Sending lots for Audrey, JT and The Hubs too.

  2. so sorry. life sucks at times, but you know it will get better. just take deep breaths, sip wine, and remember your mother loves you so much.