Tonight as I was tucking little miss into bed, I asked her about her surgery coming up this Friday.
"I'm kind of excited." was her reply.
When I asked why, I got this... "Because I don't usually get a lot of attention... my brother does. And I'm going to get attention."
YIKES.
That was like a knife in the heart.
She followed with, "I know he has autism, and he needs things, but I'm excited to get attention, too."
Twist the knife...
It was an opportunity for a long talk.
If she ever needs us, she can ask us for a Sunday. Sundays, her dad is off work, and we can split the kids and go 1:1. If she ever feels like she needs us before then, let us know, and we'll figure something out. Just let us know. We're not perfect, we're just doing the best we can. We need her help, too. Anytime.
She cried. I cried.
It hurt to hear that she feels like she doesn't get what she needs.
But hopefully she understands that in the future, she can let us know, and we will make sure it's okay.
Sigh.
I bet that was so hard to hear, but it's good that she told you and now you can be more proactive in giving her attention.
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is an uncommon issue with children whose siblings have disabilities or just need extra attention. When my sister was going through her rebellious time, I got NO attention or support. All their energy was focused on her. I was in high school about to go to college, so I was older and dealt with it. But at the same time, I was jealous and angry that no one seemed to care about me. At least that is how I felt at the time.
Good luck!