The Dance

The past few days have left me a little bewildered and frustrated.

JT is suddenly on edge, the past two days having 'episodes' at school. By episodes, I mean meltdowns or tantrums. Of course, the two are *completely* different, but strange that they crop up together. Traveling friends I suppose.

Then this morning, he was in a fantastic mood... suddenly flipping into a meltdown mess, completely inconsolable and irate.

These don't last a long time - maybe 5-10 min - and he's having 1 a day. But I'm still freaking out. There's always that panic... what if we stay here?

These behavioral backslides are common here... part of the autism 'dance'.

We move forward, then cha-cha back in an area, just to move forward again at some point. Always moving, sometimes forward, others backward, and sometimes things just shift left or right. But we're always moving.

I'm praying we figure out why Mr. JT is upset soon. Is it his sleep issues? The visitors last week? His allergic reaction to their dog he had then? Transition to new things? Growth spurt? Getting sick? I checked, no full moon to blame it on this time, so that's out...

Most likely we'll never know. The dance changes right as you start to figure out the steps.

I've never liked dancing much. I was a runner - point A to point B in the shortest amount of time = WIN! Dancing was a whole lot of steps just to get to an end... seemed like a lot of energy to burn to get to point B.

Yet here I am, dancing every day.

My feet are tired.